Mother
33May 13, 2016 by petrujviljoen
the cool breeze
fills the empty vault of heaven
with the voice of the pine tree © Onitsura
whispers of the way it is
grew, swelled – reached humanity © Petru J Viljoen
…………………………..
Linked to Carpe Diem, the Tan Renga Challenge and to Dverse Open Link Night, hosted by Gayle Walters Rose – with reference to Mother’s Day.
petrujviljoen 
This is beautiful!
Thank you very much!
Oh these are lush whispers… with a twinge of loss… my mother can only speak to me via whispers from heaven’s vault… so this really hit me in my heart.
Extremely well crafted too.
I’m grateful when what I’ve done resonates with people. Thanks for the compliment.
I’m trying t come up with one word to express the emotion behind this haiku.
Probably the biggest compliment I got for this one Nan. Thank you very much! Hope you’re well?
Excellent ending lines to the haiku of Onitsura. It almost always seems awkward when extra lines are added to a perfect haiku but in your case, your addition was lovely and added a great deal of meaning.
Thank you Tony. Do I understand correctly that you’re not fond of the Tan Renga form, in general that is?
Oh no, not what I said at all. I like it when it is done well and ties to the original haiku. You did that so very well. Too many times, the “extra” part seems awkward. I greatly enjoyed yours! toni
Okay. Thanks again.
Thank you for reminding me of the beauty of a well crafted haiku.
I’m honoured that you thought it well-crafted.
Thank you for sharing your haiku and the peace it creates within this reader.
Thank you indeed! Job well done then. 🙂
Whispers within the forest walls can be so intriguing. Yes, it’ll find its way to humanity! Wonderful lines Petru!
Hank
Thank you!
I adore pine trees and your haiku draws them beautifully!
“Empty vault of heaven”…hmm…mysterious and beautiful haiku. You can’t much argue with the “way it is.” Thanks for adding your voice to dVerse, Petru!
Gayle ~
Thanks for the hard work in providing the platform!
Oooh, I like that! The whispers of the wind through the pines… reaching humanity. Nice ‘completion’!
Thank you!
I admire the concluding line, reaching for humanity ~
Thanks!
Beautiful!
That’s very intuitive, a beautiful reflection of nature
So soothing… like a cool susurration caressing the skin on a too warm day.
Nice!
That’s the best of whispers.
🙂
Cosmic approach, great!
Thanks. The haiku was cosmic in the first place! 🙂
Beautiful!!!
Thank you!