Two Ruba’i

26

February 3, 2019 by petrujviljoen

the guavas, hard and round but small
but swell they will to flesh to fall
from branch to ground, to find, to taste
the growth – the fruit; it’s summer’s call

….

by way of wind the crow, the blue
of light to stand, to stay, be true
beside the rock, the moss to grow
so stress recedes behind and through

….

I kept this very simple as I’m still flummoxed by meter.

Linked to Dverse Poets

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26 thoughts on “Two Ruba’i

  1. Short but flows well with this metre. You have made it work well in sound and meaning. A great form for you. Next one seems more difficult but will look out for yours.

  2. Gina says:

    your meter is perfect to me , i kept my words simple too as meter is hard for someone tone deaf like me…LOL! i like the beats of your rubaiyat

  3. Mish says:

    I feel the gentle rhythm of a heartbeat in your phrasing. Beautiful…..both of them.

  4. msjadeli says:

    I love these, both of them.

  5. The meter in both quatrains sounds perfect to me Petru and I especially love ‘by way of wind, the crow’ 💜

  6. memadtwo says:

    by way of wind the crow…what a wonderful line. (K)

  7. Jules says:

    I looked up the form (new to me):
    It refers specifically to a form of Persian poetry, or its derivative form in English and other languages. In classical Persian poetry, the ruba’i is written as a four-line (or two-couplet) poem, with a rhyme-scheme AABA or AAAA.

    I didn’t see anything about meter… but that isn’t my strong suite either.

    • Apparently the English version, as per Stopping by the Woods by Robert Frost, is being punted as an example of using metre. I’ve downloaded the English translation – by Fitzgerald – of Omar Kayyam’s rubaiyat and busy reading it – for the first time.

  8. Frank Hubeny says:

    It sounds to me as well that you have the iambic meter correct.

  9. Frank Hubeny says:

    Nice sound. I especially liked the repetitive use of “to” in the first one. It set the beat.

  10. lillian says:

    I like these!
    Not to worry…..I still count syllable on my fingers and have ALWAYS and still have trouble with accented syllables in the right order!

  11. Sounds to me as though you got the metre just about perfect.

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