Two Ruba’i
21February 3, 2019 by petrujviljoen
the guavas, hard and round but small
but swell they will to flesh to fall
from branch to ground, to find, to taste
the growth – the fruit; it’s summer’s call
….
by way of wind the crow, the blue
of light to stand, to stay, be true
beside the rock, the moss to grow
so stress recedes behind and through
….
I kept this very simple as I’m still flummoxed by meter.
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your meter is perfect to me , i kept my words simple too as meter is hard for someone tone deaf like me…LOL! i like the beats of your rubaiyat
Thank you so much!
I feel the gentle rhythm of a heartbeat in your phrasing. Beautiful…..both of them.
Thanks Mish.
I love these, both of them.
Thanks again!!
You are welcome 🙂
The meter in both quatrains sounds perfect to me Petru and I especially love ‘by way of wind, the crow’ 💜
by way of wind the crow…what a wonderful line. (K)
Thanks Kerfe!
I looked up the form (new to me):
It refers specifically to a form of Persian poetry, or its derivative form in English and other languages. In classical Persian poetry, the ruba’i is written as a four-line (or two-couplet) poem, with a rhyme-scheme AABA or AAAA.
I didn’t see anything about meter… but that isn’t my strong suite either.
Apparently the English version, as per Stopping by the Woods by Robert Frost, is being punted as an example of using metre. I’ve downloaded the English translation – by Fitzgerald – of Omar Kayyam’s rubaiyat and busy reading it – for the first time.
I follow the beat of my own drum. I just can’t do meter or metre. 🙂 – I might if I worked at it.
It sounds to me as well that you have the iambic meter correct.
Nice sound. I especially liked the repetitive use of “to” in the first one. It set the beat.
Thanks Frank.
I like these!
Not to worry…..I still count syllable on my fingers and have ALWAYS and still have trouble with accented syllables in the right order!
Thank you. A case of practicing. Once one has it down pat it will go easier. It’s worth the effort so to be able to break the rules sensibly later.
Sounds to me as though you got the metre just about perfect.
Thanks! I’ll try a more complicated vocabulary and see where it gets me! 🙂
As long as you can get it to rhyme…