Sonnet V – The Wreck
60January 23, 2019 by petrujviljoen
Copyright Petru J Viljoen
there’s no-one left to remember. it’s on
to seventy-five years since the Chev rolled down
the mountain. The chrome on the bumper shone
in the midday sun, enough to distort the frown
of the one who bent closer, who looked in-
to the fog of time, morphing the present;
the past a hologram; souls who have seen
who have borne witness of a quest fervent
seeking peace, forgiveness, deliverance
from a hell-fire brewed – a moonshine potent
enough to raze the years of innocence;
all memory brought to the moment.
the present a contract compact, a fevered brow
cooled – a whoosh of wind, a mercy bestowed
….
Linked to Dverse Poets
Linked to Friday Fictioneers – inspired by the photo by Ted Strutz
Coppyright Ted Strutz
Very well pieced together.
Thank you.
I read it twice, and I still don’t think I’ve enjoyed this to the extent that I could. Great job.
If it needs to be explained it probably didn’t work very well although many have expressed interest in trying to. It’s basically a case of entering a state of mind, at the point of looking into the gleaming chrome of the bumper, to find a virtual set of circumstances, a set of imaginings, of what happened that the car rolled down the slope of the mountain and the consequences for the driver and the survivors. The moonshine refers to alcohol – the most probably cause of losing control of the vehicle.
I got the moonshine; also the rest, pretty much. What I was referring to was your choice of words. Wonderful, and not fully enjoyed in a quick read-through.
Oh, okay then! Thank you so much for spending the time.
Reading the comments I had to remind myself what enjambment was. I’m not big in the poetry stakes, but I know what I like. I liked this.
Thanks Sandra!
An exploration of a mystery, to see the humanity in artifacts, imagine the circumstances. Blevins Gap?
South Afrrica, just off a tourist route.
It looks SO MUCH like an old wreck near some local hiking trails here in North Alabama. The color is completely gone out of our wreck here. I too have often wondered about the lives the vehicle carried as it rolled.
I asked around here but no-one remembers or knows anything of the wreck. Trees have grown through it. About a year ago, a well-known woman in a neighbouring town went down the mountain after she fell asleep behind the wheel – due to alcohol. The roads here are such, combined with the dreadful driving habits of people, there are many accidents.
Here too
Beautifully crafted sonnet, nice flow to it, one to come back to , a touch of the enigmatic.
Thanks!
I love the car corroded by the fogs of time. It has a mystery and sense of loss, never being able to hold on to time. You certainly seem confident with your sonnets now. Great to do a sequence.
I am thinking of doin a sequence.
Really enjoy the imagery that springs from the metaphor. Nice job!
“…a hell-fire brewed – a moonshine potent
enough to raze the years of innocence;”
That is a powerful vision gained from staring into that bumper. I liked this Petru. An expanded perspective gleened from that wreck in the woods
Mysterious wreck…I like the idea of past as a hologram and your play with word “compact” 🙂
wow! well done. i once found an old car int he woods… fascinated about how it got there.. wondering about who had driven it, maybe someone was conceived in that back seat…
… and maybe not.
Beautiful from the beginning till the end!
An engrossing poem. And yes, indeed, great use of enjambment. Also a tad of surrealism… icing on the cake for this reader.
🙂
I liked this. Thanks for sharing.
I like the use of enjambment, with volta like a moonshine potent, and that ending couplet ends beautifully. There is mercy after all.
Thanks.
Perfection as a modern sonnet. I have encountered that Chev in my dreams, lying in the loin of a tangled arroyo, a once jet black 1948 coupe with twin James Dean spotlights, the windshield shattered, it’s back broken, covered now with time’s patina. I see the skeleton at the wheel, but lacked the courage to investigate.
Good for you!
So many tales related to those old cars. I don’t pretend to understand your message, but I related to past history visiting the present, and the presence of alcohol and how time softens history. Enjoyable read.
You got it perfectly!
👍
I love the story in this sonnet, the rhymes and enjambment, and especially the lines:
‘…The chrome on the bumper shone
in the midday sun, enough to distort the frown
of the one who bent closer, who looked in-
to the fog of time, morphing the present’
and
‘…a moonshine potent
enough to raze the years of innocence’.
Thank you Kim.
Love these lines: “morphing the present;
the past a hologram”
You have a way with words, beautifully well expressed and fantastic writing.
Thank you!
You are welcome my friend. 🙂
Sorry, mate. I could not follow this. But I was caught from the beginning with the concrete story about the car 75 years ago, but after that, too abstract for this poor mind. I was hopeful
Oh well.
Sorry — I am just one of those readers than needs accessible poetry, but wish I could read deeper — just too simple of a guy. But I will keep stopping in, hoping to enlarge myself.
Don’t be sorry Sabio. It’s fine. I like reading a straight forward story myself.
Cool
Love this especially; “a moonshine potent enough to raze the years of innocence.”💞
I do love how you let the sonnet tell a story that morphed into an extended metaphor with the conclusion… the image of that old car to start with is wonderful
Thanks!
The past’s a hologram. How could I not like that?
I saw you used the same word! The past does kind of jump out at one sometimes, no?
Nice line: “to the fog of time, morphing the present;”
Thanks.
Reblogged this on NANMYKEL.COM and commented:
“enough to distort the frown
of the one who bent closer, who looked in-
to the fog of time, morphing the present;”
If this is enjambment, it’s delicious!
Thanks Nan!
Some solid imagery here and I enjoyed the image of past and present colliding through the reflection of a wrecked chrome bumper.
Thank you.
The memory both compressed and held, the wind indeed a mercy. (K)
Thanks!
impressive use of enjambment. It gave it such a natural flow.
Thanks!
The mention of moonshine made me smile, and yes it does ‘raze’ the years of innocence.
Thanks Susan!