Sonnet III
35January 13, 2019 by petrujviljoen
Trigger Warning: some swearing and reference to abuse
at once held up by some but trampled back
by fucks who will dare not have a woman free;
a one who stands, who shows no lack nor crack
the bitch must know her liability
the crime extends beyond its time and place
in keeping on humiliating her
debasing her, she’s now without a face
taking part, often now – it does recur
it does get so she knows not where to hide
her body, her mind, her self-loathing complete
her life, unlived, no way to turn the tide
the familiarity with defeat
no, no honour here, no going berserk
only identifying with the dirt
….
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Thank you, I sense courage
🙂
Billy Shakespeare wrote so many of his sonnets about love, that it seems the form evokes romance and roses when he hear the word “sonnet.” The terrifying irony of your poem is the reality that love is so often conflated with desire for control and abuse in the world, so to hear a brutally honest sonnet about that topic frees the form from Hallmarkian constraints and moves it forecefully forward. Speaking about love for what it is, is beautiful, speaking about abuse and control and the dehumanizing aspect of it is necessary, and powerful, and a way forward to reclaim what has been taken. Thank you for this, although the rhythm brought me so forcefully into the feeling of it, it has left me a tad shaken… but for an important purpose. the line “the bitch must know her liability” shows the terror of the lie contained therein, no victim is at fault for the actions of controlling assholes who are so cowardly they can’t stand to “have a woman free.”
Trying to swallow pass the lump in my throat at this. Thank you!!
The anger is justified and necessary. For me, the couplet really captured the desperation, a void where a woman cannot even protest of the evil that persists.
Yes.
You have dared to capture the essence of a campaign to break a woman’s spirit. I applaud you. I am a newbie to sonnets and cannot make comment on the form aspect, but the proclamation of awareness of the phenomenon evokes strong appreciation.
Thank you. There’s been only support for the topic and it is much appreciated. Gives for the courage to carry on.
This is such a powerful sonnet. Your words aren’t constrained by the form – rather the form has set them free. I love the rhyming couplet!
Thanks Kim.
This is so Good!!!!
Thanks!! I thought it a bit rough still and working on honing use of language to get a working rhythm for the sonnet form.
I am always a fan of revisions and re-working stuff; it is part of the fun for me! But know that this poem has exquisite bones!!!!
Thank you very, very much!!
Ooooh! This form loves you! Outstanding!
Thanks Jilly. High praise. There’s still a lot to learn.
The structure of the sonnet works well with the feeling of anger here. Well done. (K)
Thanks Kerfe.
I like how you described the situation with the phrase “familiarity with defeat”.
It’s the one phrase I thought slightly out of rhythm with the rest but yes, I hear you.
Power! When we let the power rise and speak for those who cannot we can also give them some of the strength we gain. It is very sad that there are still many enslaved one way or another.
Anger can be a gift to focus. If we can only influence the right people to help stop the debasing of human life. I can only hope that as more people speak out, more will be heard and justice can rise to help heal those who have been trapped.
Quite.
It’s hard to contain anger into such a strict form. Well done!
Thanks Jane. Sat a good few hours with it – not perfect but at least it’s there. Busy with the next one. As Bjorn said, practice … and the strict form is probably an excellent remedy for anger. I remember an exercise I know of – to write about anger in thirty words exactly. All the metaphors I came up with scared me stupid so left it. Like water: if one can’t go through or over one goes round (that which seems cast in stone).
You’ve certainly got the bit between your teeth.
Hope so.
🙂
Rageful and powerful. Bravo.
It’s the next morning and I’m still cross. Or should I say: sad!
This is raw, edgy – a modern day sonnet.
There’s more!
The strong voice of a sonnet works so well… glad you have found that aspect of the form…
Nearly gave up! Counting syllables while one is screaming …
Ha… if you exercise you will feel the beat and don’t have to count at all…
already busy with the next one!!