Tanka
41December 10, 2017 by petrujviljoen
cup tilts, spills,
shatters on the kitchen floor
– absence expanding
summer’s ever green resumes
its whispers beneath the breeze
…
Linked to Frank J Tassone’s haikai challenge
Linked to Open Link Night – Dverse Poets.
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I liked “– absence expanding,” and it was a nice turn in the tanka.
I like the feel of this–a moment captured–and filled with serenity
Loved the contrasting images — creative use of expanding emptiness. Glass half empty?
No, empty and broken, but with healing – the time thing.
Ah, a nice turn with that 3rd line. Nicely done.
kaykuala
Nicely written, Petru!
Hank
This reminds me of being so caught up in either a memory or a vision that when there is a disruption, as the phone or door bell ringing that the cup in one’s hand can easily slip.
I had that with a pot of paint. Luckily the container was plastic and the paint that flew all over the floor got picked up and reused. It wasn’t green, it was purple! There’s still an attractive stain on the floor and I think I’ll keep it. 🙂
I, too, was caught by “absence expanding” and how those words magnified meaning within your piece. Well done!
I like the evergreen resuming after the shattered cup.
Beautifully concise and subtly profound.
The cup shatters, the absence/silence expands and summer resumes its whispers and life goes on.
So much more in your words.
Merry Christmas Petru!
Anna :o]
Have a peaceful holiday Anna.
‘absence expanding’ takes us way beyond the tanka – a lovely write Petru :o) xxx
Thank you!
summer’s ever green resumes
its whispers beneath the breeze
Gorgeously written 🙂
I like the contrasting moods here. Puts things into perspective.
summer’s ever green resumes
its whispers beneath the breeze
Love these lines – really beautiful!
Absense expanding… A beautiful image and concept. Well done.
TeA LEaveS
SPiLT DreAMS
CuP
CoMe
BaCK
AGaiN
WarM FeeLS
EssencE FuLL..:)
Damn.
Now i need to go get more beer.
That was the last one.
I understand!
I like the turn of this line: – absence expanding!
Happy Holidays and wishing you the best for 2018!
Thank you Grace.
In context I particularly admired the line: – absence expanding… Beautifully done…
It will be an expanded absence before summer breezes resume here in my world. Frigid here today! Blessings on you and yours this holiday season.
You are right these are but moments.
This tanka is rife with metaphor, philosophy and spiritual hope. Granted Winter robs us of warmth, but not the memory and dream of verdant halcyon days to come.
Love the way you used the bridge between the shattered cup and how maybe you can notice nature afterwards.
The expanding absence hints to so much more than just a shattered cup
It was meant to, so thanks for picking up on it.
Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #3: Petruj’s latest #tanka for my current #haikai challenge!
I like this too. Life goes on.
Thanks Jane.
🙂
I love “absence expanding”..
Well done!
Thanks Charley!
You are welcome!