Mountain scribe
22June 13, 2017 by petrujviljoen
Cradling a mountain absurdly riddled;
a cry – the autumn wind.
Arums bloom.
Falling water smelt the sun and bird’s
wild song and graces of deer
and rodents while
jasmine’s budding; yet unseen the
air laced – briefly fragrant –
the mýstery is patient.
glyphs – heralds of the Matriarchy.
There are clouds in the pond. My hand
plunges, touches
the dissolving sky – scrolling ripples
brim the edge, slightly
spilling over.
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petrujviljoen 
You are alive in it! Every word sings….
Thanks Jana!
the dissolving sky – scrolling ripples
brim the edge, slightly spilling over.
How nature can turn itself into many different forms within minutes. Good observation
Hank
“…There are clouds in the pond. My hand / plunges, touches / the dissolving sky…”. Just beautiful!
I like the idea of the “mystery” being “patient”. Patience and love are closely related in my view.
Wow! You’re right!
So many good points already stated. Your form is like an eastern one–I even counted syllables at first–but wow–then the poem bursts through free as a spooked grouse, beating its wings like a humming bird, or a playing card in bike spokes; really wonderful. I set aside /the mystery is patient/–#4 to do so it seems.
I did consider breaking the poem up in haiku but then didn’t. So the Eastern influence is correct. Love the spooked grouse! I ask permission to use it.
This is lovely, deep, patient in itself and enchanting! What a lovely poem.
The image of sky brimming over the edge as ripples is beautiful. I like the overall aesthetics of this verse.
-HA
This has an Eastern form feel to it while still being very much free verse. I like the meditation aspect of looking at nature and realizing it is through the mirroring water. Made your text become very three dimensional. Well done.
Lovely meditation on nature and its ephemeral manifestations.
A magical moment, a gift from mother nature ~ This line is lovely:
the mýstery is patient.
Oh yes, “the mystery is patient!” Truly dissolving!
This is so pretty!
I like this patient mystery and dissolving sky!
I don’t understand it, but it paints a lovely picture of budding rain clouds spilling over into rain.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous ❤️
Love how the sky and the water comes together in the end.
Lovely descriptive phrases take me there! Thank you.
I especially like the last stanza and how this poem builds. Such beautiful imagery.
Thanks!