February 5, 2016 by petrujviljoen
Linked to Bastet’s A Month of Haiga. Please follow the link and read other’s haiga or to link up.
I invite critical constructive criticism please – can’t claim cognisance of a course unclassed otherwise.
| Tags: bastet, haiga, haiga a day challenge, late afternoon, through the eyes of bastet
It looks interesting but unfortunately I cannot read the script on my computer. I probably could if I was using the tablet and could magnify it. 🙂
I wrote out the different haiku, it can be found after the images. https://pviljoen.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/haiga/
Yes I can see how the clouds and their moisture attempt to wash away that which might seem unnatural… and yet humans are a part of nature.
I have not quite figured out the technicalities of hagia – I have plenty of photos and verse is not the issue. Putting the two together is. (I’m an older tech challenged lady!)
My only note would to be having the font or print a tad larger to make it easier to read.
It must have been amazing when the sun did break through!
I haven’t seen anything like it since. I remember walking in a rosy hue, as if I was bathed in it, hence the idea of being washed clean but couldn’t get it all into the haiga.
Maybe it would fit in a shadorma/haiga? 🙂
Or what ever other verse you come up with that says what you want about the experience…on the same photo.
I think I’ll do that. Learnt about Shadorma from Mindlovemisery Menagerie’s blog. Want to give it a try.
Maybe we need that horizon to see what’s tainted..,
yes, and fix it! Or realise what’s important and what isn’t. 🙂
Wow what a photo … interesting the use of “laved” – one wonders what is being washed … and that sets the stage — nicely done. Glad you could participate again too 🙂
I live with my thesaurus and dictionary next to me. Enjoy your work very much.
I like your haiga. It is modern in that it addresses current issues with the environment but it also has the wonderment of haiku.
I’m not really happy with the last line but couldn’t do better at the moment. Thanks for your input. It’s appreciated.
I always doubt m poetry. I understand!
🙂 Apparently it’s part of the territory. It does help to realise that when one agonises by oneself in trying to come up with something presentable.
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