Look within for The Music – An Effort for Friday Fictioneers.


June 14, 2013 by petrujviljoen

Friday Fictioneers showcases flash fiction from across the world. The rules and the how-to is available on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields‘ site. This week’s photo prompt is courtesy John Nixon who holds copyright. All Fictioneers hold copyright to their written material.


Copyright –John Nixon

Genre: General/humour

100 words. 

I love constructive feedback.

What’s the brother doing in the piano?

– He says he’s looking for a blue note.

A blue note?

– Yeah, it’s gotto be blue.

Why does it have to be blue?

– Dunno.

What’s he gonna do with it?

-Says he needs it.

And it’s in the piano?

– Is what he says.

How did it get in the piano?

– He says it flew in there from the bass guitar.

A moment of silence.

From the bass, eh?

– Yep.

What’s the monk smokin’?

– The best, brother. The very best.

I think I need some.


25 thoughts on “Look within for The Music – An Effort for Friday Fictioneers.

  1. vbholmes says:

    That must have been one wild all-night jam session–it’s not often you lose a blue note and still remember it the morning after.

  2. kz says:

    lol the dialogue is great 🙂 really enjoyed this ^^

  3. blue note indeed… yes I think I can see that happen…

  4. Dear Petru,

    Well defined voices. Made for an enjoyable read.



  5. Hannah says:

    You made me smile!

  6. Lovely! I can see that blue note flying into the piano from the bass (and I’m only drinking tea 🙂 )

    • petrujviljoen says:

      As I wrote the possibility of watching a blue note flying into a piano seemed entirely possible. Nothing but tea in the house.

  7. annisik51 says:

    Difficult to find a blue note through a purple haze. 🙂 Eloquent and funny writing. Ann

  8. Thelonious Monk? Pretty jazzy story.


    • petrujviljoen says:

      I wish it didn’t take me such a long time to come up with an idea and then to write it. Suppose it will get better with more practice – would’ve liked more rhythm.

  9. Sarah Ann says:

    Lovely voices and laid-back feel to this. Love the idea of the flying blue note. Will he ever make music again if he can’t find it?

  10. Nice. Great dialogue. Authentic.

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Authentic eh? Thank you!

      I may only be able to get round to reading the other stories on Monday. I’m busy elsewhere today and tomorrow and I seem to have internet access only in the mornings now for some reason. It’s like being back in the old days with farm lines. Never mind obsolete pay phones. Bear with me.

  11. troy P. says:

    Dialogue and flow – bravo on the dialogue and flow!

  12. Joe Owens says:

    His secret is now shared.

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Fixed the grammar! Site loaded this morning, couldn’t yesterday. Thanks for reading!

  13. misskzebra says:

    This made me laugh.

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Thanks. Just found a grammar mistake actually and am trying to get the post to load so I can fix it.

  14. Sandra says:

    Could almost hear the voices in this. Well done.

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Available on Amazon

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As the World Burns

Available at https://www.amazon.co.uk/As-World-Burns-Writers-Artists/dp/1951724046


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