Join the Club – Friday Fictioneers

39

May 10, 2013 by petrujviljoen

Friday Fictioneers is a growing group of writers who take part in a weekly exercise of flash fiction of a 100-words (or there about) in response to a photo prompt. It is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, a published author. This week’s photo is courtesy Ted Strutz, who holds copyright.

I’m able to take part once again this week. I don’t think this is the best effort but it would have to do. Had a better idea late last night except I’m scared the internet will disappear again without warning and I won’t be able to post it. I appreciate serious, constructive criticism of the work. 

The work of the other writers can be found here

icon-grill-ted-strutz

She’s been looking forward to this all week. When Bolton phoned her heart jumped. She was a bit early. She preferred not to make him wait. He let her choose the venue. She liked the idea of the painting she made for this restaurant for back up company. She chose a table where she could see it and ordered some wine.

The food, wine and company were excellent. No lipstick showed on the serviette she wiped her mouth with. He liked women that didn’t wear make up, he said.

She caught the eye of the cashier. They exchanged rueful smiles.

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39 thoughts on “Join the Club – Friday Fictioneers

  1. annisik51 says:

    I didn’t get that she’d been stood up! How dense of me! I actually thought he’d showed up and she took off her lipstick to placate him. Thought: “I would have kept MY lipstick on! In fact, I’d have added more in his face!” Skilled characterisation of a domineering bully (Bolton). I hope she gets together with the waiter. He sounds just the sensitive and understanding type she needs. I like: “He let her choose the venue.” Ann

    Like

  2. rgayer55 says:

    At least the painting kept her entertained.

    Like

  3. kz says:

    ah, to hell with him. she’s better off without him ^^ gotta admire her courage. i wouldn’t know what ‘d do if i get stood up. i hope she called her friends afterwards and had an awesome night ^^ great story

    Like

  4. Very nice character piece. The personality of the date summed up in that one sentence – and “she’s” reaction. Masterly!

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Thank you Super Cargo! I didn’t have any internet this weekend, busy kicking up the dust about it so apologies for the late reply. Will get to your story shortly.

      Like

  5. she handled it with great dignity I think… 🙂

    Like

  6. Very pedestrian, indeed. Well written, it felt real, even down to the fact that she had the picture lined up as a back-up company. Sad.

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    • petrujviljoen says:

      She’s obviously been in such a situation before, she knew how to protect herself. Thank God for Feminism.

      Like

  7. Mike says:

    At least the food and the wine were excellent. Who needs a man!
    Great story.

    Like

  8. Sheila says:

    All that hope in the beginning and then the crushing end. I really felt for her, but it sounds like he wasn’t right for her anyway. She’ll be better off without him and it sounds like she’s realizing that already.

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Apologies for the late reply. Busy kicking up dust about the internet connection here. She’s played the dating game before and had no illusions.

      Like

  9. I wasn’t a bartender, but I was a waitress, something I would do again if it stood between me and starvation. 🙂 You did a great job of making an interesting, realistic story of something that many people go through. Well done.

    janet

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Used to waittress as well. Thank heavens too old for it now. Saw a lot of humanity in that time.

      Like

  10. vb holmes says:

    Next time she’ll wear lipstick if that’s her thing–no self-respecting feminist wants a man like Bolton telling her what to do. Realistic vignette.

    Like

  11. kdillmanjones says:

    I saw in the comments that you were aiming for “pedestrian” here and that was definitely the impression I got. What I really liked about it is that you took something mundane and made it meaningful. That’s my favorite kind of writing, the kind that makes you look at your own mundane life with a bit more awe. 🙂 Nice work.

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Apologies for the late reply. Thanks for appreciating. It’s my favourite story too, on the ground, real life.

      Like

  12. 40again says:

    So glad she stayed and had dinner, took a bit of courage not to bolt and head for home in tears, like I did once.
    Dee

    Like

  13. Bitter-sweet. Hope she doesn’t accept another invitation from Bolton. And the cashier is a hero. Empathetic, sympathetic. Has seen it all before but isn’t blasé.

    Like

  14. troy P. says:

    So many happy words used to make such a sad story. Very well done!

    Like

  15. Good character development for only 100 words. She felt real to me, and my heart sank by proxy when I realized he wasn’t coming.

    Like

  16. I’ve been stood up. Glad she has the wine, that will help.

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      And the courage to stay and have dinner anyway. Nice way to save face. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  17. Dear Petru,
    I hope she sin’t being stood up. Apparently the bartender has seen it before. Nice job.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

  18. The Real Cie says:

    Nicely done. I used to work as a bartender. It was a pain getting lipstick off the wine glasses.

    Like

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petrujviljoen

petrujviljoen

I make art, I read a lot and I'm now trying to write as well. Otherwise I belong to a cat by the name of Charlie that drives me nuts sometimes and other times makes me melt with love for her.

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