Join the Club – Friday Fictioneers39
May 10, 2013 by petrujviljoen
Friday Fictioneers is a growing group of writers who take part in a weekly exercise of flash fiction of a 100-words (or there about) in response to a photo prompt. It is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, a published author. This week’s photo is courtesy Ted Strutz, who holds copyright.
I’m able to take part once again this week. I don’t think this is the best effort but it would have to do. Had a better idea late last night except I’m scared the internet will disappear again without warning and I won’t be able to post it. I appreciate serious, constructive criticism of the work.
The work of the other writers can be found here
She’s been looking forward to this all week. When Bolton phoned her heart jumped. She was a bit early. She preferred not to make him wait. He let her choose the venue. She liked the idea of the painting she made for this restaurant for back up company. She chose a table where she could see it and ordered some wine.
The food, wine and company were excellent. No lipstick showed on the serviette she wiped her mouth with. He liked women that didn’t wear make up, he said.
She caught the eye of the cashier. They exchanged rueful smiles.
I didn’t get that she’d been stood up! How dense of me! I actually thought he’d showed up and she took off her lipstick to placate him. Thought: “I would have kept MY lipstick on! In fact, I’d have added more in his face!” Skilled characterisation of a domineering bully (Bolton). I hope she gets together with the waiter. He sounds just the sensitive and understanding type she needs. I like: “He let her choose the venue.” Ann
Uhm, it wasn’t a waiter. It was a waitress. And no, they didn’t get together, they were just comrades for a minute. 🙂
Oh, sorry, (waitress)! Still, it COULD happen.
At least the painting kept her entertained.
Something that lasts anyway.
ah, to hell with him. she’s better off without him ^^ gotta admire her courage. i wouldn’t know what ‘d do if i get stood up. i hope she called her friends afterwards and had an awesome night ^^ great story
She probably went home and read a book. Or wrote a story. Or painted. Or played with her cat.
Very nice character piece. The personality of the date summed up in that one sentence – and “she’s” reaction. Masterly!
Thank you Super Cargo! I didn’t have any internet this weekend, busy kicking up the dust about it so apologies for the late reply. Will get to your story shortly.
she handled it with great dignity I think… 🙂
She did, hey? Thanks for reading and commenting.
Very pedestrian, indeed. Well written, it felt real, even down to the fact that she had the picture lined up as a back-up company. Sad.
She’s obviously been in such a situation before, she knew how to protect herself. Thank God for Feminism.
At least the food and the wine were excellent. Who needs a man!
All that hope in the beginning and then the crushing end. I really felt for her, but it sounds like he wasn’t right for her anyway. She’ll be better off without him and it sounds like she’s realizing that already.
Apologies for the late reply. Busy kicking up dust about the internet connection here. She’s played the dating game before and had no illusions.
I wasn’t a bartender, but I was a waitress, something I would do again if it stood between me and starvation. 🙂 You did a great job of making an interesting, realistic story of something that many people go through. Well done.
Used to waittress as well. Thank heavens too old for it now. Saw a lot of humanity in that time.
Next time she’ll wear lipstick if that’s her thing–no self-respecting feminist wants a man like Bolton telling her what to do. Realistic vignette.
I saw in the comments that you were aiming for “pedestrian” here and that was definitely the impression I got. What I really liked about it is that you took something mundane and made it meaningful. That’s my favorite kind of writing, the kind that makes you look at your own mundane life with a bit more awe. 🙂 Nice work.
Apologies for the late reply. Thanks for appreciating. It’s my favourite story too, on the ground, real life.
So glad she stayed and had dinner, took a bit of courage not to bolt and head for home in tears, like I did once.
She did once too often. She became a feminist in the meantime.
Bitter-sweet. Hope she doesn’t accept another invitation from Bolton. And the cashier is a hero. Empathetic, sympathetic. Has seen it all before but isn’t blasé.
She’s a feminist. She won’t take any more calls from Bolton. Thanks for reading.
So many happy words used to make such a sad story. Very well done!
Thanks for thinking it was well done. I meant to write a pedestrian kind of story, as in, this happens all the time to a lot of people.
It came along in very much that fashion. Kudos!
And thank heavens for feminism – women take their own money these days!
Good character development for only 100 words. She felt real to me, and my heart sank by proxy when I realized he wasn’t coming.
Presence of mind, the woman. Thanks for reading. Glad she came across as real.
I’ve been stood up. Glad she has the wine, that will help.
And the courage to stay and have dinner anyway. Nice way to save face. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I hope she sin’t being stood up. Apparently the bartender has seen it before. Nice job.
She definitely has been stood up. If you didn’t get it I may not have made it clear.
And I fixed the grammar fault. Silly mistake to make.
Nicely done. I used to work as a bartender. It was a pain getting lipstick off the wine glasses.
So did I. It was a great school of humanity.