The Boar
25April 12, 2013 by petrujviljoen
The weekly Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. It’s an exercise in brevity of a tale told. It’s also fun. This week’s photo prompt is courtesy Sandra Crook, an avid Friday Fictioneer participant.
Following is my contribution, clocking in at a 100 words. A qualifier: specially in the light of my previous post – I do not think all men are like this.
Positive, constructive criticism is welcome.
”Henry!”
His attention was riveted on the sculpted hybrid.
”Henry! How can you … we’re in a middle of a discussion!” He jerked loose from her grip on his arm. ”Baby, oh my baby!” Reverently he kneeled at the artwork, letting his hands glide over the wrought makings.
It’s always the same! Cars, tractors, motorbikes, helicopters. Just look at that joystick! An ode to his masculinity!
Mouth set, eyes blazing, she backed away. He didn’t notice. She slammed the car door. He didn’t notice. She sped off, gravel flying. Then he whirled round – ”Hey! That’s my car, you bitch!”
petrujviljoen 
Wonderful use of emotion 🙂 I love the perspective of the story.
Thanks!
Focus can be good if it is directed in the right direction. Apparently his focus had drifted to many times before.
Well, darn it.That serves him right. Evidently She’s had enough and finally got fed up. I mean, for heaven’s sake…kneeling at the artwork? Gheesh. How embarrassing. I would have taken off too. Nice work in getting me all riled up. lol. Nice work. And tks. for visiting the Dumb Rednecks.
Thanks for reading and commenting! Is the capital S in ‘Evidently She’s had enough …’ intentional? It fits even if it was a typo.
Your word press site link in your blog address that you left on my comment is wrong…but I found you.
Thanks for your visit and continued success in all of your arts.
I didn’t know there was something wrong with it! Did you click on my name to get to my site? Thanks a lot for persevering and commenting. Appreciate the good wishes.
This is great. A brief couple of minutes but the emotion behind it clear and understandable to readers of either gender! A Poignant reminder of who each of us is and isn’t! Very well written!
Thank you!
I was there watching as the scene unfolded; you allowed me to be present..
I leave thankful that my man does not have such a fetish..
Well done indeed…
Thank you! Lucky you for being with a good guy.
Oh well done her!!!! I would have done the same thing 🙂
Thank you! I agree, good for her.
Just went to your site to read your FF and found my story there! I am, of course, very complimented.Thank you!
Enjoyed reading.
Thanks!
Too funny and yet, not funny. “An ode to his masculinity!” Laughing and rolling my eyes simultaneously!!
janet
Indeed. Thanks for reading. Love doing this.
It’s a positive addiction, that’s for sure!
Great story Petru with a powerful ending. Nice work. 🙂
Thanks! And thanks for the follow. It’s a huge compliment. I love working (both art and writing) for an informed audience. It makes one work harder and better.
Dear Petru,
He can have his little sculpture and his little joy stick, too. 😉 I’m humored by this story and glad to know that not all men are like this. I’m happily married to one who isn’t . Kudos to her for taking the car.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I was amazed at Sandra Crook’s story – the other side of the coin! Both genders have work to do.
And both stories were quite amusing. Always two sides to every coin.
Read Sandra Crooks’ story – the converse of this. For the sake of truth.