The Boar

25

April 12, 2013 by petrujviljoen

The weekly Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. It’s an exercise in brevity of a tale told. It’s also fun. This week’s photo prompt is courtesy Sandra Crook, an avid Friday Fictioneer participant.

Following is my contribution, clocking in at a 100 words. A qualifier: specially in the light of my previous post – I do not think all men are like this.

Positive, constructive criticism is welcome.

sandra-crook

”Henry!”

His attention was riveted on the sculpted hybrid.

”Henry! How can you … we’re in a middle of a discussion!” He jerked loose from her grip on his arm. ”Baby, oh my baby!” Reverently he kneeled at the artwork, letting his hands glide over the wrought makings.

It’s always the same! Cars, tractors, motorbikes, helicopters. Just look at that joystick! An ode to his masculinity!

Mouth set, eyes blazing, she backed away. He didn’t notice. She slammed the car door. He didn’t notice. She sped off, gravel flying. Then he whirled round – ”Hey! That’s my car, you bitch!”

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “The Boar

  1. camgal says:

    Wonderful use of emotion 🙂 I love the perspective of the story.

    Like

  2. Joe Owens says:

    Focus can be good if it is directed in the right direction. Apparently his focus had drifted to many times before.

    Like

  3. Well, darn it.That serves him right. Evidently She’s had enough and finally got fed up. I mean, for heaven’s sake…kneeling at the artwork? Gheesh. How embarrassing. I would have taken off too. Nice work in getting me all riled up. lol. Nice work. And tks. for visiting the Dumb Rednecks.

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting! Is the capital S in ‘Evidently She’s had enough …’ intentional? It fits even if it was a typo.

      Like

  4. julespaige says:

    Your word press site link in your blog address that you left on my comment is wrong…but I found you.

    Thanks for your visit and continued success in all of your arts.

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      I didn’t know there was something wrong with it! Did you click on my name to get to my site? Thanks a lot for persevering and commenting. Appreciate the good wishes.

      Like

  5. Penny L Howe says:

    This is great. A brief couple of minutes but the emotion behind it clear and understandable to readers of either gender! A Poignant reminder of who each of us is and isn’t! Very well written!

    Like

  6. I was there watching as the scene unfolded; you allowed me to be present..
    I leave thankful that my man does not have such a fetish..
    Well done indeed…

    Like

  7. Oh well done her!!!! I would have done the same thing 🙂

    Like

  8. Too funny and yet, not funny. “An ode to his masculinity!” Laughing and rolling my eyes simultaneously!!

    janet

    Like

  9. jwdwrites says:

    Great story Petru with a powerful ending. Nice work. 🙂

    Like

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Thanks! And thanks for the follow. It’s a huge compliment. I love working (both art and writing) for an informed audience. It makes one work harder and better.

      Like

  10. Dear Petru,
    He can have his little sculpture and his little joy stick, too. 😉 I’m humored by this story and glad to know that not all men are like this. I’m happily married to one who isn’t . Kudos to her for taking the car.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

  11. petrujviljoen says:

    Read Sandra Crooks’ story – the converse of this. For the sake of truth.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Copyright

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material or any part of this material without express and written permission from myself is strictly prohibited.

proartist.viljoen79@gmail.com

Join 439 other followers

Artist Statement or rationale or why do I do what I do

petrujviljoen

petrujviljoen

I make art, I read a lot and I'm now trying to write as well. Otherwise I belong to a cat by the name of Charlie that drives me nuts sometimes and other times makes me melt with love for her.

Personal Links

View Full Profile →

%d bloggers like this: