Solitaire
17March 29, 2013 by petrujviljoen
Weekly writing challenge, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week’s photo is copyright to the hostess. The challenge is to write a 100-word fiction, based on the photograph. I enjoy constructive criticism so kindly (please) let me know what you think of this attempt.
Solitaire
Everything in its place, expectant, waiting, begging disruption. The heart of the home in a corner of possible complexity. The lighted oil lamps an invitation.
Wedged heart with a view to a closed community. Devoid of movement. From this corner remotely controlling the virtuality of existence. Suspended activity, marking time.
Traces of being to be realised yet again within parenthesis of routine, the cue withheld. The shadows hold promise of past presences, memories accentuate absence.
Silence, like dust, collects on the table. Crumbs from the past feed nobody, nourishment becomes a wish. Patience becomes burden. Echoes will become mute.
petrujviljoen 
This is so very well done. Your story draws the reader right in where they need to be. I enjoyed your well written words!
Thank you!
Deep. Echoes are many.
Dear Petru,
Love this line: “Crumbs from the past feeds nobody, nourishment becomes a wish” Although I think it should be feed…referring back to crumbs. Very nice piece. Poetic.
shalom,
Rochelle.
Thanks for the grammar correction. Haven’t had internet signal for a week, today back a bit. Have trouble loading my site so I could fix it. Got the pic for this week only this morning. Hope I can load the story. Thanks for liking my contribution.
Enigmatic, spooky and atmospheric writing which leaves a lot to the reader’s imagination. Ron
I’m not always a big fan of this sort of writing but I felt that you made it work well in this piece. Very poetic.
janet
Oh! “Silence, like dust, collects on the table”. Very beautiful!
Thank you! By the way, absolutely adore your new artworks in gray scale.
This lifts the 100 word fiction to litterature… Great work.
Oh wow! Thank you! Was inspired by Samuel Beckett and I think N Filbert too. Appreciate this.
I like your descriptions of this, felt like I was sitting in this kitchen and inhaling the quiet stillness around me. Your work made me think the house was a living thing, and it was tired of being so still, it lit the lamps as an invitation for another family to come in and make noise and disruption. You’ve created a touching work here.
I’m pleased it came across as it was meant. Thank you!
A lot of complexity that stimulates the reader’s imagination.
Thank you indeed!
i’ve always liked the suggestiveness of fragments in short pieces. They sort of ask to be filled out by the reader. This worked that way – extending itself.
Thanks. In fact, read Beckett prior to writing for inspiration.