Friday Fictioneers : The grass is greener this side of the Fence


February 22, 2013 by petrujviljoen



The ruin was a testimony to abandonment, neglect. An accussation. She swayed under the weight of the past. Ten years of running, of putting distance between herself and this place did nothing to assuage the emotions welling up in her. She sank to the ground. Wracking sobs tore through her, her mother’s brutalised face in front of her, as it was the day she ran away, her 15th birthday.

 The fence, a symbol of middle class propriety – this is a good neighbourhood, it said. A bastion against the darkness. Mrs Smith shrugged her shoulders, went inside to her tea.


Friday fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wissoff Fields. The photo is copyright Janet Webb. It’s a wonderful exercise in honing one’s writing. 

19 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : The grass is greener this side of the Fence

  1. Joe Owens says:

    Such a contrast between the two in the story. One feeling all, the other feeling nothing.

  2. Wasn’t sure where this was heading until I read the last line. Nice way to tie it all up. So sad.

  3. Dear Petruj,
    Like Janet, I was a bit confused by the scene shift between the first and second paragraph. However, it was still a good story. A stark contrast between one woman swaying under the weight of her past (I liked that swaying under 😉 ) and the uncaring, cold neighbor.
    It’s a challenge to get all those thoughts across in a small space. The more you do it the more you learn.

    • petrujviljoen says:

      Thank you for reading. I was hoping it would be clear. Will hone the concept better hopefully next time.

  4. kz says:

    very sad story… very real and very well-written.. love how you emphasized the irony of the white fence. damn but that’s one cold neighbor.

  5. Green Speck says:

    Your lines shift emotions rapidly … as I swing from one motion to another … really well told !!!

  6. It can be difficult to escape, or even deal with, the past. I like your use of the fence and this: ” The fence, a symbol of middle class propriety – this is a good neighbourhood, it said.” But I wasn’t sure if Mrs. Smith was the woman in the first paragraph, now recovered from her crying and still in the neighborhood or if she was a neighbor.

    (“Accusation” has only one “s”. Dratted keyboard!!)

    Hope your weekend is wonderful,


  7. Wow, some cold neighbors in this neighborhood.

  8. Sandra says:

    Nicely done. The two paragraphs seemed like opposite ends of a dark spectrum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Available on Amazon

Available at

As the World Burns

Available at


Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material or any part of this material without express and written permission from myself is strictly prohibited.

%d bloggers like this: